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My Tiny Birdie

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My Tiny Birdie,

I love you! You are the best thing since sliced bread, which coincidentally you wake up and ask for at around 6:30am on a regular basis. I actually fixed you a piece of “butter toast” this morning. You are the most beautiful 4-year old little girl I have ever laid eyes on and I adore you!

Things you are loving lately that I don’t want to forget.

  • You could watch TV all day long (but I don’t let you, because it’s bad for your eyes and your brain)
  • Playing hotwheels and legos together is one of my favorite things. In fact, this morning playing legos with you gave me a pep in my step for the morning.
  • Playing house is a new thing and I for one and really enjoying pretending to talk on the phone while you are at your house and I am at mine.
  • You are enjoying school right now. Letter practice is your favorite part and I love seeing you try new things.
  • Swimming. You are almost to the point of swimming on your own, you just don’t believe in yourself enough and that kills me, because I believe in you so much it hurts
  • You have announced your NEW favorite colors as orange and yellow, but I think you saw that on some show because you still show favoritism to purple and pink.
  • Snuggling at night when you are supposed to go to bed is something you want of your life! And as much as I want to tell you “no” every night, by the time you can actually read this, you’ll be too old to want to snuggle, so I am soaking it in more than I should.
  • Books, Audio books, and Read Alouds. You read all the time.
  • You love telling stories at night and I love your Once Upon a Times.
  • Using “big” words is kind of your thing now. Tonight Daddy asked you if you like big words and you replied that big words are delightful and when he told me I laughed and was proud and so excited to be your mom.
  • Saying “just one more hug and kiss” is a normal phrase for you
  • You truly believe you are a mermaid when you are in the bathtub
  • Your imagination is contagious. I love pretending with you. And your Ariel pose from the carpet (sea) onto the hardwood floor (shore) is the best!
  • Sarcasm! You understand it and you call me out on it. Today, I purposely didn’t respond to your sarcasm (that wasn’t very sweet, but funny) and I laughed out loud when you told me a few mins later, “That was sarcasm, mom” OKAY! WOAH YOU ARE F-O-U-R YEARS OLD MISSY!

You are a wonderful artist and you are talented at so many things. You’re also the best helper and big sister. Yesterday you fixed everyone snacks without me asking you to while I finished up my blog post. What!? I was so proud of you, even though part of it was impatience. You did the dishes without me asking you to and helped me clear the table more than once. You always watch out for Bub and Wawa. And I am so proud of you for loving and caring for them I could burst!

I love you with all my heart. Sometimes I sit and look at you and wonder how in the world all the love I have for you fits inside my heart. It is this impossibly wonderful ache I have and I wish I could explain it better than that.

You are learning about Jesus and how he died for our sins and this morning at breakfast I could see a switch in your eyes that flipped inside of you as we talked about it. You asked questions and took in the reality of it all. I was overwhelmed because it is the most important thing in the world to know Jesus and I feel inadequate to teach you sometimes. You see the mess of me that no one else in the entire world sees. The one that is trying to teach you discipline, submission, and healthy habits, but also the one that loses it and yells and eats thirds after I tell Daddy I shouldn’t. BUT that is where Jesus comes in. After all, He covers all of me and he cares for you better than even I can. He gives me grace and helps me to understand to keep pressing in to Him and keep trying.

This morning as you practiced writing C’s you messed up and told me, “It’s okay Mommy, it’s good to keep trying.” and I was so proud and also humbled and reminded to keep trying. So, this little letter is to tell you that I will keep trying until my final breath. I will try to show you Jesus in everything I do. Ask your forgiveness when I can. I will try to be a mother to you, Wawa and Bub that looks more and more like Jesus daily. I will try to be patient and try to hand all my failures over to God and lay them at the feet of Jesus as often as I can.

I will keep trying and keep trying and keep trying my beautiful, smart, wonderful, talented, kind, loving, snuggling, amazing little birdie! You are worth more than my trying, but that’s all I have. I love you my tiny girl! You’re the best baby birdie in the whole entire world.